I see that you are nodding at the title. I would also like to know if you are complicating a relationship? And, my answer to you – “don’t we all?”
It is 2016, and you’re already introduced to various types of relationships – you’ve probably been/are in one. – Fling, friends with benefits, live-in relationship, sexlationships, etc..
Firstly, why aren’t we all in a steady relationship? — because times have changed. I remember a film of actor Vijay where he chose to stay single because the one he was in love with got married to another (If you know Tamil – you must now be a person who would only laugh at the concept of the film and the song ‘anandam anandam paadum, manam aasayin oonjalil aadum’)
In a way, it is better. Because you would have probably been in a relationship when you turned 20 and decided that you would wear a pink saree for your wedding reception, and you asked him to promise not to shave on your D day, the honeymoon spot, the number of kids, the list of names for girl baby and boy baby. And, poooffffff! You broke-up when you turned 24 years – reality hit. (Am leaving the reasons for you to choose – caste, religion, America Mapilai(groom), whatever… whatever..)
Like Mangatha Ajith would say ‘inime kudikave kudadhu da saamy’ ( I will never drink anymore) — you did say that you will never fall in love anymore, and moved on from the hurt. CCD would probably remind the coffee that you both shared, a nice romantic song would remind how you both were crazy about that song, Sathyam cinemas would remind that ‘tak’ kiss you both had, etc..
You’ve crossed that stage of fatal attraction and infatuation — you’re not the person who would instruct him not to talk to any other girls in the class or you’re not the guy who would burn the girl if her dupatta is not pinned to her kurta. No! Now you’re a liberal. Now you’re a confident person. No more lollipops and heart candies, it is Bournville and snickers. (Yes, you’ve grown!)
Being Indians, most of us are confused with the very concept of each type, and we don’t know the difference. We are now in a stage where you like a person; the person reciprocates – but, you’re afraid that this might fail like your previous. So you enter into it saying let’s see how long it goes. You date, you go out, movies, pub-hopping, end up having sex – you don’t belong to each other, but you do. You want the other person forever, but not really.
I know most of my friends who started off with a different term but ending up falling in love with each other. In ‘Friends-with-benefits’ you probably can date another person – but you don’t because you’ve always been loyal and you feel seeing another is cheating. A one-night-stand is supposed to finish right there, but you end up having coffee the next day.
In most of this other —ships, I see women getting offended. Though consensual, they end up feeling like slut or imagine that the guy thinks you’re one. Probably! It was not both. You can never hold his shirt collars for this. Probably, this might hurt like your failed relationships as yet, but since you didn’t talk much about the wedding preparations and having kids stuff, it saved you. (Not including your daydreams of getting married, ok?)
One thing that we all should be glad about is that the rate of suicides due to love failure (We hardly use that term – I love the fancy ‘breakup’ better) has reduced significantly. The word ‘move on’ is frequently used. Though funny, Trisha illana Nayanthara 🙂 Works right?
We are all done with the scary, dangerous, real pain that a failed relationship would leave us with.
If you find yourself complicating a relationship – it’s okay. Understand that life is bigger and better. You’ve got a lot to do -get settled before you turn 30, get married before you go bald, have kids when you’re fertile and what not?
Try living in the present. It’s okay to walk a mile with a person who can make you smile. Whatever you name it – ensure that the other person cares equally about your well-being and encourages you to reach your goal and aim, who is cherished to share stealing moments with you. Helps you to take your hobbies seriously and rushes to the hospital in the middle of the night if your family member falls ills.
May you end up with the right person for life, till then, live-life-king-size. You deserve love! 🙂