We were wildfires! I was stuck in tragedies when our eyes locked for the first time. It took me hardly few weeks to fall head over heels. Your words, your eyes, and your voice – and, the way you sing, how can I not fall in love, though?
When you ‘Happened’ to me, I felt ‘free’ more than the usual ‘happy.’
It was good. Not the usual good, but freaking-falling-in-love good when we proceeded from being friends to being close. I tried not to fall in love with you, like kicking away the strands of grass with legs. But, in vain. Little did I know you’ll turn the biggest drug of all those who I ever know, I was addicted to you. Like, crazily! Days when I didn’t have to figure things out on my own, with you – everything felt complete. You loved me through my struggles, you know the internal fires, the pain, et al. You loved me with the heavy baggage that came with. I love you!
We didn’t make it through; we had our own hurdles that stopped us from even giving it a try. We were proud to say ‘Yes, we are in love and are also coward enough to take this forward,’ but hey, you know what? I wish that you fall in love with a heart that loves you as much as I do. Yes, we’ve moved on but still a small part of you will always love me and a teeny weeny part of me will always love you! We were not strong enough to love each other the way we actually deserved, right? The ‘fear’ stopped us, stopped us from every little thing that we ever wanted to do with each other.
Days together – wrestling with you for the bottle of water, and pouring it all over. You snatching the stupid phone of mine and throwing it far. We being ‘just there’ at that moment forgetting our pasts and come-what-may future. Having leftover pizzas with you, and talking some-random-shit. We were not as dramatic enough to call you the yin and to say I am the yang, but, we somewhere down the line were two individuals who appreciated the differences between us.
Maybe, our ‘forever’ was just a few ‘months, ’ but those are worth years, don’t you think? I do, though. Thinking of you leaves me smiling that spreads to my now-glassy eyes. We chucked the idea of ‘forever’ and ‘happily ever afters’ for good, but we fell in love with that thought down the line, didn’t we?
I’m still in love with you, though I have my reasons to not to be. You left me with a level of peace when we had to depart and bid goodbye. When did we become so wise? That we chose to make it easier to leave each other before it was time. It was tough to find my footing without you, and you fucking-know-that.
I am indeed happy now, for having fallen in love with you. We are friends now, and you’re someone I’d always count on when times are harder. Thanks for believing in me, and my dreams. It was an honor to be loved by you. For, I am not someone who wants hours and hours with a person but ‘moments,’ thank you for swallowing me in whole and for drenching me in love. I might not thank you for everything you ever did, but I would for the ‘Magic’ and though am not a part of your family (though I wanted to) – for a brief period, I was a part of you, and that would do!
Dedicated to the lovely bunch of practical nut-heads out there! 🙂 And, I will always wish that you fall in love with a heart that loves you as much as the other did.