I’d like to fuck you, I’d like to fuck you, what are your charges for a night. Read the message from an anonymous sender.
I started trembling, like those forks and spoons that’d make jittery sounds when someone carries them on a plate. I could see anxiety, gathering speed, I could sense gravity working its way to droop the smile that was plastered on my face. My heart pounding like a fugitive on the run, And, I caught a glimpse of myself descending into chaos.
I paused. I took a deep breath. I stopped.
My thoughts and ideas are too copious in the nights, Like the curls of vapor from a hot cup of tea, Twisting and turning and blending with the air and slowly, vanishing.
I was revisiting the past, this isn’t the first time I’m being bullied online, There is someone out there, on the other side of the screen, Someone who wants to see me trembling, watch me in discomfort. Plump with poison in their hearts. With clumps of dirt on their minds and souls that are stuck like bats on the ceiling.
Then, something struck me. Like the flame of a candle in the dark, that would cast a shiny orange on our face.
I might as well reply to the person, I might as well share what I charge for a night.What I charge to fuck me for a night.
I charge all the colors in full brightness, though. I charge all the elements – Oxygen, hydrogen, sodium, calcium and every damn thing on a periodic table, Definitely all 4 seasons – summer, winter, spring and autumn, I’d also like the glow of ultraviolet, I need all 12 zodiac signs lined up in a row, I’d like the lakes, and salt from the ocean, All the prayers we could hear in a hospital, All the poems written by those broken hearts, Everything sweet especially more honey, And the wonders of the world, The smell of the grass, Music is a must. And, I would cost you a brand new world designed by the best kickass feminists.
I want all the leftover chocolate pudding from all corners of the world, I’d prefer them to be a little warm.
I want all of it. All of it trapped in a body. That’s what I charge.
I know that’s a little too much to ask for.
Let me try to retreat the steps, Let me use the wisdom I accumulated over all these years, Okay! It was not a sensible idea to ask for all those things,
So I dust your request from the surface of my inbox with fingerprint-lifting powder, Wow! The unwavering confidence. I give a good nosy look around, I should admit that my nose wrinkled from the stench of our wild and brave question, I can’t deny your right to adventure, No. Never. But, given that you’re cowering behind the bushes,
And since you’re blurred because you’re wearing a mask. I’m less inclined to open up and say I need strong friendship with the person, love, lust, connection, comfort, spark and a glass of wine that I’d not mind.
But, given that you’ve reduced me from a person to what’s between my legs,
All I can say is though, to have sex,
At least, I need a person with a face, bro!