Unrequited Love – To see someone with eyes brimming with love but realizing that the other doesn’t get the message. To that longing that we hold to hug the other tight, kiss their soul and pour our hearts to let them know how much you mean to them but that’s something we can never do. The pain, the disappointment and that-something which is heavy on the chest.
To love and to be loved is what we were taught, and life has also in-its-own-ways taught us to admire, fall in love with the other day by day and yet, to stay away when they don’t reciprocate.
Whenever you look at the person, you would feel like you’re given an extra pair of eyes with chocolatey-love to look at them. You just know how chiseled their features are – maybe, those cute eyes which shrink when the other laughs. The small smile that flips your heart. That beard of his or the light-burgundy colored hair of hers that shines. That moment is a bit confusing – you know you’ve fallen and you start admiring, at the same time like a ‘satan’ you are also reminded that the other is not in love with you, they don’t admire you the same way you do, they won’t like it if you say they look smart or beautiful. Holding you back, stopping you from doing what you’re doing, and yet, you continue – Oh! God! Those eyes right?
Do we have another heart or what? Or, maybe an instrument inside, the rhythmic heartbeat when that special person is around. That flirty smile cum grin on your face – God, priceless!
You don’t know what they’d tell if you approach, you don’t want to spoil the friendly-lovely talks that are on, you don’t want to be ‘that-annoying-person’ of their life either. You choose to stay steps away and stop to leave them undisturbed but damn little-did-they know how affected you are!
You’re head over heels already; you can’t throw them off your mind – what is that a piece of paper to throw in a bin? How do we demand our heart to not-to-think of THAT special person? For, you’ve thought of that person whenever your favorite songs play, you always had fancy dreams with them. To not-to-be with the only person whom you want to wake up with, just doesn’t know and is already busy with life and their priority. Hurts. Hurts with a capital H there!
But, hey! Let’s hold on and cherish these moments. See, you at least know how capable is love and how capable are you to love someone. I can only think of one thing if you love a person who doesn’t reciprocate – the love-shower that’s awaiting from THE person is going to be amazing. Love has no limits, and ensure you love yourself enough to pick yourself up and walk. Enjoy the little-somethings of your life and carry on. The right person is stuck somewhere. More love to you! 🙂
I see that you are nodding at the title. I would also like to know if you are complicating a relationship? And, my answer to you – “don’t we all?”
It is 2016, and you’re already introduced to various types of relationships – you’ve probably been/are in one. – Fling, friends with benefits, live-in relationship, sexlationships, etc..
Firstly, why aren’t we all in a steady relationship? — because times have changed. I remember a film of actor Vijay where he chose to stay single because the one he was in love with got married to another (If you know Tamil – you must now be a person who would only laugh at the concept of the film and the song ‘anandam anandam paadum, manam aasayin oonjalil aadum’)
In a way, it is better. Because you would have probably been in a relationship when you turned 20 and decided that you would wear a pink saree for your wedding reception, and you asked him to promise not to shave on your D day, the honeymoon spot, the number of kids, the list of names for girl baby and boy baby. And, poooffffff! You broke-up when you turned 24 years – reality hit. (Am leaving the reasons for you to choose – caste, religion, America Mapilai(groom), whatever… whatever..)
Like Mangatha Ajith would say ‘inime kudikave kudadhu da saamy’ ( I will never drink anymore) — you did say that you will never fall in love anymore, and moved on from the hurt. CCD would probably remind the coffee that you both shared, a nice romantic song would remind how you both were crazy about that song, Sathyam cinemas would remind that ‘tak’ kiss you both had, etc..
You’ve crossed that stage of fatal attraction and infatuation — you’re not the person who would instruct him not to talk to any other girls in the class or you’re not the guy who would burn the girl if her dupatta is not pinned to her kurta. No! Now you’re a liberal. Now you’re a confident person. No more lollipops and heart candies, it is Bournville and snickers. (Yes, you’ve grown!)
Being Indians, most of us are confused with the very concept of each type, and we don’t know the difference. We are now in a stage where you like a person; the person reciprocates – but, you’re afraid that this might fail like your previous. So you enter into it saying let’s see how long it goes. You date, you go out, movies, pub-hopping, end up having sex – you don’t belong to each other, but you do. You want the other person forever, but not really.
I know most of my friends who started off with a different term but ending up falling in love with each other. In ‘Friends-with-benefits’ you probably can date another person – but you don’t because you’ve always been loyal and you feel seeing another is cheating. A one-night-stand is supposed to finish right there, but you end up having coffee the next day.
In most of this other —ships, I see women getting offended. Though consensual, they end up feeling like slut or imagine that the guy thinks you’re one. Probably! It was not both. You can never hold his shirt collars for this. Probably, this might hurt like your failed relationships as yet, but since you didn’t talk much about the wedding preparations and having kids stuff, it saved you. (Not including your daydreams of getting married, ok?)
One thing that we all should be glad about is that the rate of suicides due to love failure (We hardly use that term – I love the fancy ‘breakup’ better) has reduced significantly. The word ‘move on’ is frequently used. Though funny, Trisha illana Nayanthara 🙂 Works right?
We are all done with the scary, dangerous, real pain that a failed relationship would leave us with.
If you find yourself complicating a relationship – it’s okay. Understand that life is bigger and better. You’ve got a lot to do -get settled before you turn 30, get married before you go bald, have kids when you’re fertile and what not?
Try living in the present. It’s okay to walk a mile with a person who can make you smile. Whatever you name it – ensure that the other person cares equally about your well-being and encourages you to reach your goal and aim, who is cherished to share stealing moments with you. Helps you to take your hobbies seriously and rushes to the hospital in the middle of the night if your family member falls ills.
May you end up with the right person for life, till then, live-life-king-size. You deserve love! 🙂
It was 1:00 AM and a WhatsApp message chimed.
That usual tinge of delight crept it. Maybe, He is up for some sexting? Oh! No, “We’ve to talk!” read the text. “Yeah! Tell me.”
It goes up to 3:45 AM and your eyes are burning. Yes, I know, not just your eyes, your soul-heart-mind and what not?
It’s over. All done. The last ‘Goodbye,’ reached your screen. Your final egoistic “Thank you!” was sent, and you saw the blue tick. His last seen is 3:46 AM and you turn away leaving the mobile aside.
You get up in the morning. You’ve had nightmares. You check your mobile just to know that it is not what it is, but, IT STILL IS.
You text your friends. Screenshots are sent. She asks if she should come over, The other asks you if you’re okay? And you are glad that you have a few who cares.
You lie down again. You can hear your heartbeat; there’s a lump in your throat and chest. It hurts. Your mind ensures that you think of the first meet, the first date, the first kiss, the first and the middle and the last and every single thing that brought you two closer.
You want to vent. Your hands tremble when you’re trying to check his WhatsApp status or Facebook profile – you’re afraid if he’d blocked you by now. His status and the image is the same – your heart just sinks. You re-read the WhatsApp texts again for the umpteenth time and try to read between the lines. You screenshot the page where he hurt you the most. You want that reminder to stop you from getting back to him.
Facebook, Whatsapp, Twitter and Instagram – you scroll and throw the mobile away. You have a long face, but, you act that you’re fine. But, that cold stare from your mom that says “I know something is wrong with you,” hurts.
You switch on the TV and cry along. You see Ross-Rachel breaking up, yet, it reminds you that Rachel missed the flight for him. It fucking tears your soul apart. It does, yeah!
“All is well, It’s okay!” you convince yourself.
“The sooner, the better, at least this is earlier than we thought,” you say to yourself.
“Maybe! It is not meant to be,” assurance.
What if I send a “Hi” – will he reply? Will he block me? Will he ignore? – The what ifs crowd your mind. You stop yourself.
What if I call him? – Not a good idea! Never.
The battle within. You sleep more than usual. You lost interest to do anything today. You don’t know what’s about to happen. You feel empty. You feel weak. You sense void! It is. It is.
This is not your first break-up, not his either. You’re not even reminded of your ex anyway, because, you’ve moved on. You’re convincing yourself that you’re better off and you survived the worst before. Still, this pains. It kills you on the inside. There’s a heavy baggage loaded on your chest and tears just slip from your eyes.
The good memories haunt you. You don’t want that reminder. You don’t know how to shut the reminiscences, and to instruct your mind to think of something else. You just can’t.
But, you’re still surviving it. You will definitely survive this. You drown today! The pain will drain tomorrow. May you have a better tomorrow! 🙂
“I want to marry a wealthy guy,” says no woman ever. But, only, explicitly. Though many instances in my life made me think about this subject, the one that gave me enough thrust to start penning this blog post is the image below.
To share a few real life incidents:
I told to one of my friends that I would like to travel all over India and a few countries if possible and immediately she said “marry a guy who is in the US,” you can travel all over the world. It hurt me because, according to me, I should go around the world with my money.
Judge me if you want, I’ve survived two break-ups. One was intense that even families knew and approved. It was a long distance relationship, and so, once he presented me an iPhone. After a few months, when the relationship didn’t work, and when I wanted to call it quits – he emotionally threatened me that he loves me so much that he presented an iPhone. Not just him, his family and even my family said the same again and again. It threw me aback that everybody equated love to an iPhone. (I threw em, and the one I use now is my own)
I had this habit of posting my restaurant trials at a Facebook group called “Where Chennai Eats,” that’s how my Ex got caught, though. His sister stalked my profile and found that we frequently meet. He casually told me that his sister warned him not to spend a lot on food. We usually go Dutch – we share the bill, but, he didn’t inform that to his sister. We fought on this, and he said it is an insult to tell that he is not spending on me
My friend’s sister did like a guy – tall and handsome, smart and witty, and what not? When we probed why she rejected him, she said his bank balance is low, and he is still in a rented house and owns no piece of land
I observe a lot, introspect, and retrospect, I find that most guys spend a lot for their girlfriends, they love doing that. They think it is man enough and pick the bill every single time. But, when there are issues and if they break up, the guy easily says “She was with me for the money,” to pacify himself. This crept in, and now, most guys use this phrase.
For, almost all my college mates are married, most of them are in US, UK, Australia and the likes. Maybe, yes! But, it is not just her choice but also her family’s that they want a well-settled guy. (Well-settled meaning – who owns a bungalow or at least a piece of land, a luxurious car, salary package that’s more than sufficient for 2, etc..) just worldly pleasures.
It’s been long that I heard someone saying “I want to marry a guy who will keep me happy,” or “I want to marry a man who struggles in life to give my support and help him achieve his endeavors,” or “I want to marry the one who loves me,” etc..
Am 27 year old now and though I don’t want to get married – in the worst case, I always wanted a matured guy who can handle what I am. Because, there were alliances that rejected me stating my social media profile has 2500 friends, a few said that a writer would mostly talk a lot of rules and laws, and a few, of course, said am fat, etc..
I got a friend recently, and we found that we share common interests and, we spend more time these days. Once he blurted that he is not committed yet because he is afraid that a girl might love him for his money.
I am extremely nervous about it; I am always conscious to repay or share the expenses equally so that no guy that I know would ever say that I am with him for his money. It is more of an obsession these days!
There are movies that subtly show a rich bald guy marrying an utterly beautiful girl. The equation of rich & ugly man marrying a pretty girl is strengthening day by day. A covalent bond!
I wouldn’t blame anyone. I am not concluding this article with any specific pointers. While I write my micro-mini HeMeStory tales – I ensure that I hurt none. I want men, women, and transgenders who read my micro stories to smile and feel glad. But, many guys in list bash women – they write about a woman being gold diggers. Many women writers in my list bash men, stating they would do anything to get laid.
Taking sides would give us hashtags like Feminist, Feminazis, Menist, etc..
I don’t want to be any!
Can we all just ditch the worldly pleasure and focus on co-existing? To just live happily? To just ensure that we all born to learn something and to teach the same to someone else before we leave?