All of us had to leave behind a relationship for some reason or the other. I know of friends who had to break-up because one wanted to study further, and I know of families that forced their son/daughter to break-up and get married to a person of their choice, religion or caste issues, misunderstandings, etc…, etc.. Okay, yes! Officially you broke up but. A big BUT.. how do you stop loving the person, though? How do you move on? Let’s talk about it.
Though not ‘Love’ I am indeed nursing myself from parting ways from a friend who misunderstood me recently. No amount of explanation could mend things, Though an author with umpteen friends online, I have a very few to count on. I tried my level best but he was stubborn and continued to accuse, it was polemical. From being the person I talk with every single day, from the one who comes to rescue, from the one whom I cry-out-loud, now, though connected online, we don’t talk anymore. It was hard-hitting, and I went inside-my-shell mode. I was not normal for days.
Most of us deal the ‘breaking-up even when in love for unavoidable reasons’ emotionally. Don’t we all? Especially when we are below 25 years. Though age is just a number, at least the majority is.
First, tell yourself “People leave,” – the number of people who left us either by choice, or because ‘way of life’ right from our childhood is countless. We’ve gone through it all; we can never be in terms with every single person we know. Few are matured enough to strike a balance and respect the differences, but a few are not. She/He might be the haunting dark nights of your soul, and you will experience short-circuit in your brain. And, that’s okay! Don’t throw yourself into the reverberating thoughts and go offbeat, do something different from usual. Make new friends, or indulge in something new or something you are good at. It can as simple as a morning walk or a small leap like learning a new language. That person will always be a precious fragrant flower – don’t force yourself to hate the person, let the person go and hold on to the love. Even if you act like you hate the person, your deepest heart’s truth is that you-love-the-person.
Stop trying to clear the cobwebs in your mind, don’t search for answers in haunting silence. The thoughts of the person would stay there bright like fire in the night sky. Cushion your thoughts and heart. A few disconnected days would prove that the suffering was not worth it, you will be fine, fucking fine. Embrace the memories, let it stay but don’t leave ways to haunt you. It’s okay to have their footprints like a tattoo on your mind. Try not falling into the quicksand called self-hatred, forgive yourself for the attachment you developed.
People are destined to walk into your life and leave when it’s time. Every single thing counts in the cosmos, don’t question “why” it happened. Answer ‘It is over!’ And that you’ve learned your lessons and march forward. Don’t close yourself from the next person who might walk in; you don’t pour all the water you had in your bottle if some spill away. Life is short to experience and learn lessons, sometimes, it comes through people or is people.
Nurse your heart optimistically and just love, wildly! Right now, I picked a book to escape into a new world, what’s your escape plan?
Kavipriya Moorthy 