Is it a pretty woman running away from a room, yelling and crying with her clothes so torn? Or, is it a scene from a movie where you see their clothes all over and the woman throwing her hands and legs in all directions? Or, is it a small street, all dark, and you see a group of people in the far with a woman crying out loud for help?
What is the definition of rape? What is your definition of rape?
Or should I ask, What’s your prototype of a rape? Because, we are taught and preached that rape is always performed by a criminal who attacks a screaming woman at a gunpoint, isn’t it? What if I narrate an incident that deviates from your prototype? But, still claim that it indeed was a rape? Would you sympathize? Because evidently, the further the incident deviates from our idea of “how a rape should look like” – We seldom understand it
Have you heard the stories of marital abuse and claimed, he’s your husband after all, he has all the rights? – No. He doesn’t have the rights. It is a rape. Do you know there are men who are victims of rape and have you ever said, huh! Men actually enjoy sex any given day, No. It is a rape. How about mistreatment of sex workers because after all that’s their job and they get paid for it. No, it is a rape. And, same-sex assault, does that ever happen? Yes, it happens. It is again a rape. What if alcohol and drugs are involved? No 2nd thoughts, it can be a rape.
There are millions and millions out there in all the corners of the world, who scoop up the incidents that happened to them and are asking “Was it a rape?” to someone else and are slowly dissolving into their own tears of self-pity.
Because, we usually stick to a few well-known rape incidents and forget to see the whole spectrum of assaults. Such that, many sexual harassment victims are still unsure how to classify the misconduct. Because, people. They always want to just label an incident as rape or assault or harassment or misconduct. But, they fail to understand how it affected the said person.
Would you throw the rape case on a weighing scale?
100 points if you were killed during the rape
99 points if that was a gang rape
90 points if they had inserted an iron rod
80 points if you were just violently attacked
50 if you look physically fine
40 if the other person had used protection?
How about ranks, though?
1st Rank if you had said No and still get raped
2nd Rank if you said ‘Stop’ but the person continued
Fail – if you had said yes first and then said no second
Fail – if you were forced and coerced to saying yes after a 100 no
Fail – if you said maybe
Fail – if you just froze and laid there like a corpse.
Anything outside the commonly accepted definition of rape is considered less worthy.
The victims are pressurized to either classify the misconduct or to just shut the fuck up. But, one question from me, who gave anyone the rights to trivialize the victim’s experiences?
Do you know there are women who make the sound of pleasure as a defense mechanism? So the rapist assumes she’s done and would let go of her?
Do you know there are people who think that violence is a part of a woman’s life and it’s just okay because all the other women out there do face something similar or, even worse.
There are women who are advised that they were lucky because it was not a violent rape but the point to note here is, it is a rape. There are women who are brain-washed that it was not a rape but a bad sexual encounter.
There are people who say “How one should take the incident” – let me tell you, you have no rights to say how someone should feel about a traumatic incident. You’re not entitled to an opinion.
Consent has to be given. Consent cannot be taken away.
As much as we understand that “No means No” – we should also understand only “Yes means Yes” – A maybe or errr I need to think or especially, silence is not a substitute for a yes.
Disinterest is rape
Discomfort is rape
Someone not minding your pain but are pushing to finish is definitely a rape
Uneasiness is rape
You don’t have the rights to say that someone’s experience of a rape doesn’t “Count” as a rape.
You spending money on her doesn’t give you the rights to rape
you cannot rape someone just because you’re turned on
You cannot rape her just because she’s not a virgin
Let’s summarize? Shall we? If a person does not verbally say YES – yes, for all the sexual acts, it is a rape.
I’d like to fuck you, I’d like to fuck you, what are your charges for a night. Read the message from an anonymous sender.
I started trembling, like those forks and spoons that’d make jittery sounds when someone carries them on a plate. I could see anxiety, gathering speed, I could sense gravity working its way to droop the smile that was plastered on my face. My heart pounding like a fugitive on the run, And, I caught a glimpse of myself descending into chaos.
I paused. I took a deep breath. I stopped.
My thoughts and ideas are too copious in the nights, Like the curls of vapor from a hot cup of tea, Twisting and turning and blending with the air and slowly, vanishing.
I was revisiting the past, this isn’t the first time I’m being bullied online, There is someone out there, on the other side of the screen, Someone who wants to see me trembling, watch me in discomfort. Plump with poison in their hearts. With clumps of dirt on their minds and souls that are stuck like bats on the ceiling.
Then, something struck me. Like the flame of a candle in the dark, that would cast a shiny orange on our face.
I might as well reply to the person, I might as well share what I charge for a night.What I charge to fuck me for a night.
I charge all the colors in full brightness, though. I charge all the elements – Oxygen, hydrogen, sodium, calcium and every damn thing on a periodic table, Definitely all 4 seasons – summer, winter, spring and autumn, I’d also like the glow of ultraviolet, I need all 12 zodiac signs lined up in a row, I’d like the lakes, and salt from the ocean, All the prayers we could hear in a hospital, All the poems written by those broken hearts, Everything sweet especially more honey, And the wonders of the world, The smell of the grass, Music is a must. And, I would cost you a brand new world designed by the best kickass feminists.
I want all the leftover chocolate pudding from all corners of the world, I’d prefer them to be a little warm.
I want all of it. All of it trapped in a body. That’s what I charge.
I know that’s a little too much to ask for.
Let me try to retreat the steps, Let me use the wisdom I accumulated over all these years, Okay! It was not a sensible idea to ask for all those things,
So I dust your request from the surface of my inbox with fingerprint-lifting powder, Wow! The unwavering confidence. I give a good nosy look around, I should admit that my nose wrinkled from the stench of our wild and brave question, I can’t deny your right to adventure, No. Never. But, given that you’re cowering behind the bushes,
And since you’re blurred because you’re wearing a mask. I’m less inclined to open up and say I need strong friendship with the person, love, lust, connection, comfort, spark and a glass of wine that I’d not mind.
But, given that you’ve reduced me from a person to what’s between my legs,
All I can say is though, to have sex,
At least, I need a person with a face, bro!
Being a writer is about ‘typing’ a lot but still we use a ‘pen’ to denote the ‘writer’ in a person. As a writer myself, I yearn to own stationery stuff. I love post-its, pens, notebooks that are cute, and journals. So, I somehow stumbled upon this brand new website – http://www.matrikas.co.in/
A website that felt so ‘ethnic’ at first sight. I found the red journal with a feather denoting a ‘writer’ and this journal is so far one of the best. I don’t usually write on beautiful journals, I just keep them and admire. This journal’s title itself is ‘write’ and so I penned down my recent micro-fiction on it. It is a hardcover journal with a few adult-coloring pages between pages to keep you stress free and also, a few sheets of stickers that one could use to make their journaling experience interesting.
I love the quality of the journal. More than enough pages, a hardcover bound, an elastic that prevents dog-ears or other usual slight damages that could happen to a notebook.
You can find more details about them on their website, and other social networking sites. Their products are also available on amazon.
Check them out, choose a diary/journal and leave a comment about it.